Confession
by fate's damned
Summary: happy birthday hisoka! i give you a present, its...tsuzuki! nice and fluffy!


If I owned yami no matsuei I would have doubled if not tripled the tsuzuki x Hisoka fluffy parts. Please don't sue me.

Thank you to Sarah-ne-chan for editing it

This is only my second fic, and my first yami no matsuei one, so its probably not that good.

The facts of life go as follows:

1. If it lives (or, in a shinigami's case, once lived) it has to breathe. While its true shinigami can't be smothered to death, not breathing for extended periods of time is rather uncomfortable.

2. Every thing that lives dies. Even demons die of old age, it just takes longer.

3. On earth the sakura blossoms bloom once a year and only for a short time

4. If it moves then there's an 80 it will flirt with Tsuzuki. Man or woman, friend or foe, human or not.

At this point in Hisoka's life he was pretty well adjusted to most of the things that make the world go round. Breathing is no trouble; it's been a habit of his for quite some time now. Death isn't exactly a problem either; he's been dead for several years and wouldn't want it any other way. As for the sakura, they could never bloom again and he wouldn't really care, he's not all that fond of them anyway.

Fact four however was a bit more of an obstacle. He hated it when someone started flirting with Tsuzuki, and it certainly didn't help that Tsuzuki flirted back, even though it was usually just how Tsuzuki was. The worst was when Tsuzuki created his own little world with whoever decided to earn brownie points with him at the time, leaving Hisoka feeling isolated.

Such was happening now.

"Aaaa Wakaba-chan daisuki! An apple pie just for me! You're spoiling me, not that I mind! Thank you so much!"

"The apples looked so good I couldn't resist buying some! I know how much you love apple pie as well! I hope you like it."

Wakaba had brought in a pie for Tsuzuki. A _homemade _apple pie to precise. This was possibly the most effective known way of Tsuzuki's attention. I didn't help his nerves that he had been trying to get Tsuzuki's attention for sometime now and all Wakaba had to do was bring in pie and Tsuzuki was practically professing his undying love to her; words that were supposed to be his to hear.

"You know I'll love it! Wakaba-chan's baking is the best!! Your food always tastes good!"

"You're flattering me, Tsuzuki-chan!" She smiled and blushed slightly.

It had long since left Hisoka's capabilities to ignore this. In fact he never had the capability to ignore this, but it was becoming apparent that Tsuzuki was too wrapped up in the pie and Wakaba that that he was never going to give Hisoka enough of his attention to notice the death glare he was giving the pair. He hated being ignored, by Tsuzuki. When this happened there was one tactic Hisoka found most effective.

"But it's true! Wakaba-chan's cooking is....AH! Soka-chan! That's _my _pie!"

Food theft would hopefully keep Tsuzuki's attention on him for a while. "No pie until your work is finished."

"But! But Wakaba-chan made it special for me!" Tsuzuki's puppy tears started to flow.

"No way, you get nothing until your work is done. I've had to do all the paper work for the last five cases, there's no way your not doing your share this time." his voice stern and his mind focused on not letting inu-Tsuzuki soften him.

"How can I possibly work on an empty stomach?"

"Your stomach isn't empty I saw you eat five muffins just ten minutes ago!"

"This is different. Those were muffins."

"So?"

"This is _pie_." Tsuzuki said simply as if it explained everything.

Hisoka how ever was not enlightened, so once again found himself asking "So?"

"Hisoka you don't understand! Sure muffins are wonderful delectable treats that shouldn't be taken lightly." Tsuzuki had started out passionately but slowly faded into a wistful happiness as he remembered all the good times he had shared with muffins. "But!" he was passionate again "compared to pie muffins are mere crumbs! Nothing can compare to the greatness that is pie! Pie is the ruler of all sweets and could never come close to being replaced by any sweet known to man! pie defeats them all hands down." at this point Tsuzuki had one foot on the desk and his fist clenched and raised in a dramatic pose. Hisoka half expected to Suzaku to come out ad start a fire behind him just for the effect.

There really was only one thing to say to that.

"Baka."

Eventually Hisoka managed to get Tsuzuki to pick up a pen and start working. Within minutes he was quietly looking over the first in a large stack of work he had. Hisoka went to the break room to get some coffee. This of course had nothing to do with the need to escape the kicked puppy demeanor Tsuzuki had about him. Of course the downside to Tsuzuki working was that he was now focused solely on work. This way at least, however, it didn't seem like there was an imminent threat of Tsuzuki being stolen by Wakaba, or what could easily be connsidered a bigger enemy, pie.

It was decidedly odd that Tsuzuki agreed to do paper work, but then Tsuzuki had been decidedly odd for the past few weeks. for the past few weeks Tsuzuki had been sneaking around, not telling Hisoka anything about where he was going or what he did once he got there. Sometimes he even went as far as denying going anywhere, claiming Hisoka must have just missed him going somewhere trivial like the store or bakery, which was an outright lie. Hisoka hated it, he couldn't understand why Tsuzuki would lie, they had been through so much together and, besides a few select details about there past, had no secrets. Even thinking about this made Hisoka's stomach knot up painfully.

He had almost been ready to tell Tsuzuki too...

Hisoka ran out while Tsuzuki was still absorbed in paper work (a sentence Hisoka never expected to think) to buy them some lunch. he was willing to try everything short of yelling "Look at me!" to get Tsuzuki to pay attention to him for an extended amount of time, if he was real lucky he might even be able to get Tsuzuki to divulge what has had him occupied for the past few weeks. He decided to get Italian carry-out and some Danishes for dessert. Surely the power of Danishes would be enough to get Tsuzuki to spill...

But when Hisoka got back Tsuzuki was gone.

He stood there staring at Tsuzuki's empty chair blankly, resisting the urge to swear.

"Ah, Kurosaki-kun I need to talk to you about your last case...is every thing okay?"

Hisoka turned to Tatsumi "Do you know where Tsuzuki is?"

Tatsumi paused, and adjusted his glasses (which was more out of habit then an actual need to do so), I believe he said something about a new bakery in town."

Hisoka narrowed his eyes but carried on as if nothing was wrong. "Very well, I'll stop by your office after lunch. Tatsumi nodded and left and Hisoka took a seat. He didn't feel like eating, there was no point if Tsuzuki wasn't there.

It wasn't fair, why did Tatsumi get to know where Tsuzuki was and he didn't? He was Tsuzuki's partner not Tatsumi; he had thought if Tsuzuki would tell anyone something it would have been him.

Tsuzuki walked in from lunch an hour later and Hisoka didn't even have to say anything to get Tsuzuki back to work.

A miracle he should be pleased about but he wasn't. At all.

Hisoka flopped on his bed, sprawled out like a typical teenager. The comforter was soft, fluffy and cool on his skin. He closed his eyes, tired and strongly considering skipping dinner and going to bed now, stress having worn him out. It didn't take long for his mind to wander back to Tsuzuki (who of course hadn't finished all of his paperwork but Hisoka gave him the pie anyway)

What was he supposed to do? It became harder everyday to put up with the constant flirting Tsuzuki did, too many people had a crush on him. Sometimes Hisoka wished all he had was a crush on him; it would have been so much easier to manage. But Hisoka's crush had faded away long ago, and now he could honestly say he was completely, head-over-heels, one hundred-percent in love with him.

Well he couldn't _say_ it, but he could think it.

The prospect of telling Tsuzuki was something Hisoka had considered on more then one occasion, but it seemed so dangerous. There were millions of things that could go wrong, not least of which he could (and probably would) be rejected. He was most definitely not strong enough for that.

So he had stayed quiet, grateful to even have the man's friendship. He was still more then grateful for that; that didn't stop him, though, from wanting more. He wanted to be the single most important person in Tsuzuki's life (death?). He knew it was greedy, but he couldn't help it, he was in love with Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki was the most important person in his life.

But having Tsuzuki get together with someone else was as bad as rejection. It was a rejection, and sitting here and waiting for it to happen seemed stupid. There was only one solution short of locking Tsuzuki away from the rest of the world (which was obviously not an option) and that was to tell him. Even if Tsuzuki didn't love him back it couldn't be worse then watching Tsuzuki run off with Watari or Wakaba, right? Tsuzuki wouldn't leave him if he told him, right? This entire thing wouldn't blow up in his face and make his existence miserable...he hoped.

"Right." he said out loud to himself, an attempt at convincing himself. "I'll tell him tomorrow."

He didn't sleep well that night.

Tomorrow was now today and Hisoka had gotten out of bed, with operation 'Tell Tsuzuki You Love Him Before the End of the Day' (original title isn't it?) planed out in his head, ready for him to execute when he saw Tsuzuki at work that day. It was theoretically simple, get to work, and wait for Tsuzuki, when he shows up tell him. Simple and straight forward, that should make it easy, right?

Right.

So he went when to work and waited, and like every other day Tsuzuki came in at his usual time, twenty minutes late, and fresh from a lecture from Tatsumi.

"Morning Hisoka."

"Morning Tsuzuki, don't forget you need to finish your paperwork today."

"Hidoi, Soka-chan. I did so much yesterday..."

"Tsuzuki..." Dangerous glare.

"Eep" and he was instantly behind his desk working, but in full puppy mode, tears bubbling at his eyes.

'Oh this is great, get him upset, Hisoka' he scolded himself, 'that'll improve your chances.'

He decided it was probably best not to tell him now; he'd wait for Tsuzuki to cheer up a bit. It's not like he had to rush, Tatsumi and kachou were at a meeting, Terazuma and Wakaba were out on a case, the Hokkaido girls were stuck in Hokkaido, and Watari had locked himself in his lab claiming a breakthrough in his sex-changing potion. They had the office to themselves so he just had to wait for the right moment.

After a full day of doing paper work yesterday, it was incredibly idealistic for Hisoka to think he could do it again. It wasn't even twenty minutes later Tsuzuki was sitting idly at his desk staring blankly into space. Hisoka couldn't help but to steal small glances at him every few seconds. The way the sun shone through the open window and caused Tsuzuki to illuminate was almost _too_ beautiful. His eyes were a deep violet and his rich chocolate brown hair cascaded over them. Hisoka wanted to reach out and brush his bangs out of his hair, so he could get a better look at the swirling shades purples that he knew you could see if you were close enough. Angelic and perfect. That's what Tsuzuki was, angelic and perfect.

Hisoka blushed violently when Tsuzuki caught him staring. Naturally Hisoka's first reflex was to call the man an idiot and scold him for not working, but he caught himself took a deep breath, it was pointless to procrastinate. "Tsuzuki you know..." his blushed deepened when Tsuzuki tilted his head to the side slightly with curiosity, his full attention on Hisoka."I -I...."

"Tsuzuki-KUN!" Konoe kachou burst in through the door. "It was you wasn't it?!"

Tsuzuki's eyes teard up and he looked scared. "I didn't do anything!!"

He ran behind Hisoka as if to use him for a shield. Hisoka decided it was best to ignore this for the time being.

"Liar! You ate it didn't you? The last pastry made by Wakaba!"

He had been interrupted because of some stupid Danish; he couldn't help but to be angry about that.

"It wasn't me!" I only had two! I've been doing paperwork all morning!"

"Only an idiot would believe that story, Tsuzuki!" the chief looked downright dangerous, but was most definitely over stepping the boundaries, hadn't he gotten the memo, the one that said the only one aloud to yell at Tsuzuki over stupid mundane stuff like this was Hisoka? It was a personal perk of being his partner.

"Konoe-san, Tsuzuki was in here all morning." Hisoka interrupted the two.

Kachou's face instantly dropped into his normal look "oh really? Sorry for disturbing the two of you...it must have been Watari...." he turned to leave, as if nothing at all had taken place.

"Why do you believe him and not me?!" Tsuzuki whined still hidden behind Hisoka.

"Because unlike you Kurosaki-kun is an upstanding, hard working employee, and I trust that he would never lie to cover up for you."

The chief left and Tsuzuki cautiously, as if Konoe would return at any given moment, came out from behind Hisoka

"Tsuzuki" Tsuzuki looked up at Hisoka curiously. 'Tell him now! tell him now!' repeated itself in his head

"Tsuzuki...if you ever use me a shield again even a shinigami's healing powers wont be enough to save you."

Puppy tears commenced.

Hisoka had run out to a local Chinese place for their lunches, saying Tsuzuki had too much paper work to do. And the pair was having lunch in the break room and as always the prospect of eating had considerably cheered Tsuzuki up. Likewise it had now effect on Hisoka's dampened mood; he'd try again while they were eating. Then at least Tsuzuki would be in a good mood and take him seriously.

Tsuzuki was rambling, his deep, soft voice feather light to Hisoka's ears, this usually relaxed Hisoka immensely, but with the task at hand it was only causing his heart to beat faster. How exactly had Tsuzuki become so influential anyway?

"Hisoka? Are you okay?"

Jolted from his thoughts Hisoka found Tsuzuki's face to be close; close enough to see the three shades of purple that his eyes were composed of.

Blush Reflex ACTIVATE!

"Of course I'm all right; I have no reason not to be."

"Are you sure? You've been out of it all day?"

Hisoka opened his mouth to scold Tsuzuki for questioning his previous assessment of his well being when the 'Tell him now!' voice went off in his head. That's right, now was perfect. "Actually, Tsuzuki, there's something I want to tell you..." Tsuzuki looked at him intensely now, serious expression with deep concern in his eye's. His heart pounding in his chest the words began to pour out. "Tsuzuki, you know I...I know you probably don't feel the same but I... I have to tell you that, I that I...lo..."

"IT'S FINISHED!!!!" the door burst open and Watari came in, a bubbling green substance in hand. Hisoka hit his head on the table in frustration, but it went unnoticed. "Tsuzuki, my little test puppy, let us drink it together and bask in its results!"

"What would I be drinking?"

"Does it make a difference, I put sugar in it you'll love it!"

"Sugar!!! Yay!!!" Tsuzuki took the beaker from Watari eagerly "I won't be permanently damaged?"

Hisoka turned his head to watch the two without lifting his head from the table. This could turn out very bad.

"Of course not, it's far safer then your cooking!" Watari replied with confidence.

Tsuzuki frowned "what's that supposed to mean?" then shifted his attention to the evidently sugary substance before him, ad with little hesitation downed the whole thing. "Yay hat was sweet, but next time you need to make it you should add honey instead..."

"Yes, yes. More importantly how do you feel?"

"Fine" Tsuzuki gave the answer normal people liked to hear, but of course Watari was far from normal, and looked heartbroken, he turned away depressed and left them mumbling about how the sugar probably neutralized it.

Another twenty minutes and the two were walking down the hall toward the office. Tsuzuki kept glancing at him with nervous worry, his incapability to tell the man how he felt was hard on Tsuzuki as well. But why couldn't Tsuzuki just figure it out? Was he honestly so dense that he didn't notice the stammering and blushing? Could he honestly not put two and two together, and figure out that Hisoka was in love with him? Hisoka was pretty sure everyone else in the office had.

Then it dawned on him... there was no one here...now would be perfect. He turned suddenly on his heal, grabbed Tsuzuki by the collar and pinned him against the wall "Tsuzuki!"

To say the least Tsuzuki looked rattled "ye-yes?"

"I -I..."

cough cough

"Tatsumi?" Tsuzuki said surprised.

"Yes,when you two are quite finished I need to speak with you in my office."

Hisoka let go of Tsuzuki shirt and nearly collapsed to the ground in frustration. Why was the world against him? Why?

Tatsumi's lecture about what their new budget would be had taken hours, but that was because torturing Tsuzuki about the budget was Tatsumi's way of blowing off steam, and probably his hobby as well. It was now just about time to leave work for the day.

Hisoka sighed getting his desk in order; he was definitely not in the best of moods. It didn't help either that Tsuzuki had been stealing worried glances at him the entire time Tatsumi was scolding the man. The silence in the air was heavy but Hisoka wasn't sure he had it in him to chance another interruption. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, nearly causing him to jump.

"Hisoka make sure you get some sleep tonight, you seem real stressed out."

This was usually the part where Hisoka scolded Tsuzuki for worrying too much about him. Usually, but the strong, warm concern Tsuzuki was numbing, so he just nodded his head.

"Also," Tsuzuki's hand dropped from his shoulder "it seems like you've been trying to tell me something all day, did I do something wrong?"

Hand it to Tsuzuki to immediately begin thinking it was his fault Hisoka's day had sucked horribly. "No Tsuzuki, you didn't do anything." Tsuzuki didn't look convinced. "I needed to talk to you about something else." he felt his cheeks flair a bit. "I needed to tell you that I-"

"Kanuki! Please don't be like this!" an upset Wakaba came bustling in through the door, a tense Terazuma at her heals.

"Be like what?" it was rare that anyone got Wakaba this worked up "I can't believe you did that!"

Hisoka frankly didn't care about whatever Terazuma had done to set off Wakaba; it seemed like a matter best left up to the two of them. So he just turned on his heel and left, much to stressed out to deal with anything.

Hisoka reached his house and collapsed on to the small couch in his living room. He was seriously contemplating just sleeping there. Dinner was definitely not going to be eaten, after a day like this he had no appetite. His nerves and emotions had gone through much.

Maybe it was better this way though. It was definitely a lot safer for Tsuzuki not to know how he felt. If he never confessed he would never be rejected.

No he would just have to deal with the in avoidable fact that someone else would step in and get Tsuzuki.

If that's what better was, it certainly didn't feel like it. He stared at the ceiling, almost feeling like he wanted to cry. It was then that there was three loud knocks at his door. If it weren't for the fact that he could never live with anyone (besides Tsuzuki) seeing him sprawled out like that he would have just yelled for whoever it was to come in, he had been too tired to lock the door behind him. Whoever it was knocked again and Hisoka dragged himself to his feet, composed himself, and opened the door.

"Tsuzuki?!" he hadn't been expecting the man; Tsuzuki never really came over, particularly unannounced.

Tsuzuki gave him a soft smile, and held up two paper bags from a carry out restaurant. "I didn't think you would have been up to getting yourself anything to eat, so I ran out and got something for you.

Hisoka was having a hard time forcing himself not to show exactly how happy he was right then. He felt so happy that it had been Tsuzuki there, and that the man had been so worried about _him_ to come all the way out here, even thinking of grabbing some food for him, from one of his favorite take out places no less. "Baka," he said fondly, "come in, its chilly out."

Tsuzuki smiled a bit more genuinely, and stepped into the house removing his shoes at the door. Ten minutes later Tsuzuki was sitting on the couch and Hisoka was across from him in his favorite chair. The conversation through dinner was light. Finally when they had both finished Tsuzuki looked up at him seriously. "Hisoka, what is it you've been trying to tell me all day?"

Hisoka blushed, and his heart began to pound again, but he was determined, this time there would be no distractions. He stood up, feeling to far away from Tsuzuki to tell him, and positioned himself next to Tsuzuki on the couch. Tsuzuki turned to face him and Hisoka slid his hand into to Tsuzuki's, breathing in deeply. "I, I had to tell you that," he paused breathed in again "that I'm in love with you. I love you ." Hisoka quickly averted his eyes from Tsuzuki's face and stopped breathing overly conscious that Tsuzuki seemed to be frozen in absolute shock, evidently he couldn't put two and two together and get anywhere near four.

It seemed as if Tsuzuki was silent for long, though looking back on it, it was probably only a few seconds. Hisoka was about to walk away, taking the mans silence as rejection, when he felt his hand pulled up to Tsuzuki's face. He looked up to see Tsuzuki brush feather light kisses over each of his knuckles before placing the hand to his right cheek. "Me too, Hisoka. I love you too, more then anyone else."

It was amazing how what he had thought to be the worst day ever could end in his first smile.


End file.
